What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
