Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
