i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
