im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
