Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
