Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
