Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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