Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When are your genitals available?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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