I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
