just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
