what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
