haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
