forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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