I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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