Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
