honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it's like heaven, but drunker
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
