Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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