So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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