I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
