i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
