Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
