woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
