Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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