I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
