mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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