it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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