If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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