That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize