Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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