"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
