It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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