Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
