I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
