Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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