Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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