We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my shit smells like andre
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
