It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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