went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
