she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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