If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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