I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
