We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
