just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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