Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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