I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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