you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
