oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
