don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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