If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Randomize
