what day is it and did you see me today?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
