just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You ruined the universe
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
