..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
