dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
