Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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