I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
