Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
