What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
