the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
