he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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