Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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