Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
