I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
