I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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