he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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